STORY OF THE BARON
The bastard son of the Queen Elizabeth and a Lion tamer of a circus. The long lost evil brother of Prince Charles.
The Baron was brough up by royal sheep and taught by cockney thieves of Finland. This more than awkwardly weird combination of luck and unfortune turned him to something else than a basic blue collar. In the early state of his wonderlust years he joined a traveling vaudeville attraction Sirkus Tapaturma and soon figured out that he has some rather supernatural abilities. His skin was able to take a lot more stress than normal healthy skin could. He got his body heavily tattooed and started pushing objects through his flesh, hanging on the flesh hooks and lifting heavy objects with his piercings.
Some years later this human marvel thought, that he should go and meet up with his mother and brother dear. So off he went, all the way to his Mother Land.
God save the Queen, Oooh bullocks! Mother and brother dear were not exactly in a mood to meet up this carnival oddity. Well, to be more precise, The Baron never even got any further than palace gates when the guards stopped his journey. -Fuck the Monarchy, I was build with anarchy- The Baron though and established his private freak show army Psycho Cyborgs.
The Cyborgs were wired in the way that they feel no pain. The Show was rated the “the most hard core freak show in the history” –Bizarre Magazine-, they drilled through their arms with power tools and ran 50 000.V via the rod pierced through their cheeks and other inhuman displays of power.
The Baron stayed with the Cyborgs for a few years, until he started to get quite enough of the seriousness and brutality. The Baron once again packed his travel trunk and went wondering about.
Wanna join the Circus? Wanna be a clown?
Well now that is an advert not to miss! The Baron got call from Luci Fire of Fire Tusk Pain Proof Circus. They were curious to know if The Baron wanted to join their gang of Clowns. As you can imagine, it didn’t take much more than that phone call and The Baron was in the show biz again. This time with one of the most entertaining sideshow troupes within Europe. “The Best of Brighton Fringe” –Brighton Fringe Magazine-. The Show was 2.5 hours of high power carnage of eight clowns, each with their own specialty skills. Knife throwers, motor cross bikes, beds of nails, heavy weights, Hair Suspensions, tons of fire, human dartboards, and lots of lots of comedy. Unfortunately this cavalcade of curiosity lasted only a few years from our noble man’s part. The Circus shut their doors when the Ring Mistress and Tusk The Clown got multiplied.
Was The Baron on his own again? No not this time, he went to Misadventures with Missy Macabre. They established a show that was based on physical slapstick comedy, sideshow and fire skills. With this act they toured around the Europe until their ways got separated and they went to solo careers.
The Baron was now touring the Europe on his own. He now took his royal body to the adventure beyond known. Slowly but surely he started gain the reputation as a strongman with extreme stunts. His solo show was based in traditional circus strongman act. Not that The Baron had much strength in his muscles, but his piercings were able to carry more than no one else’s. Soon he started to training his nipples to be the strongest on the Earth. Within the training period he was performing non-stop with small and large productions to get into his goal. 2013 he contacted the World famous Guinness Book of Records telling that he can break the record of an American strongman The Great Nippulini. People within Guinness were a bit concern if The Baron could actually be capable to do so, but after all they concreted a date and The Baron travelled to London to show his royal power. “Ok here we go. Baron, you have to lift the weights of the floor up to one foot and hold them up for at least five seconds. “Are you ready?”
“Yes Sir, I am ready.” “Once the weights come’s of the floor the stopwatch starts running.” The Baron lifted the weights up with his nipples. “Five Seconds, you can now lower the weights” “No Sir, not yet, he is taking photos.” The Baron held the weights up for 15 seconds and broke the Guinness World Record. He is still holding the record that is 72LBS. The Baron and his record lift can be seen on the 2015 Guinness Book of Records page 105.
After breaking The World Record, The Baron started his world tour. He got taken to exotic locations such as Singapore, Seychelles, New Zealand and even Iowa. He may have not been accepted to be a part of the Great British Royal family but something a lot more meaningful, The Royal Family of Strange People that is a collective of the best of the best in The Baron’s field of performing arts.
He is no longer thought as bastard son of the royals and carnies, but as an extravagant human marvel with nipples of steel. The Baron of The Universe was born.
These days The Baron of The Universe can be located around the World, but most of his time he spends in Berlin, London and New York performing by him self and with different troupes.